


going down, going down 'til I chip my chin (take my head in your hands, pop it with a pin)

by Buttercup_ghost



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Im gonna specify which warnings apply in each chapter so u can skip them if you want, Irumatsu week is also now and i love them so i have to do that too i just have to, M/M, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, Pre-Game Oma Kokichi, Pre-Game Saihara Shuichi, Saiouma week, [puts head in hands] im a fool, im gonna d i e
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 13:01:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15025145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buttercup_ghost/pseuds/Buttercup_ghost
Summary: i know you were thinking bad things when you kissed meoh, your tongue told me every lie





	going down, going down 'til I chip my chin (take my head in your hands, pop it with a pin)

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so, heres the thing; im not good at finishing things. Actually, i pretty much suck at it. I havent finished ANY of the weeks ive participated in, and to make it clear im still planning on finishing them, i just have adhd, depression, autism, and let me just be honest most days i sit down and look at art of girls and suddenly the whole day is gone bc im gay. SO, if i dont finish this within the week, i apologize, or if i post like. Three chapters at once im also sorry, it just means ive hyperfixacted and/or dissociated and words magically appeared on the page.
> 
> In addition to this i also really want to do irumatsu week, since its one of the ships im really passionate about along w nanamiki, kaemugi, harumeno, tenkaede, kaemaki and saimota. So as you can probably tell, if i want to do both of these weeks, finish my other ones, and preferably finish a few drafts, im, scientifically, fucked. But when has logic ever stopped me? 
> 
> It may not be within the week, but i swear to fucking god ill finish all of this shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for; drv3 full game spoilers, stalking & obsessiveness, some classism at one point, scams, and some sexual stuff but not to much bc im literally 16 im a baby
> 
> Im not super happy with this but. I wrote this at two am and today has been a bitch, so. I stepped on a nail and bleed all over my holographic shoes, specifically, so like. Im having A Day Tm.

The boy blushed, drool coming out of his mouth slightly. Scrolling through his crushes (beloved) tumblr was always a pleasure, whether it was because of his well thought out danganronpa theories, or just because it was him, the boy didn't know. Today, though, the notification on his phone gave him a special treat; a selfie.

He was adorable. Shy seeming, in the little things like body poster and behavior. Covering his eyes and smiling abashedly, a mild manner put off by the swirling pools he had for eyes, drawing him in, put off by the open wide void giving the illusion of drowning, drowning in his own obsessions, like the countless others who came before him.

The boys face split into a carnivore grin.

But in this mild mannered boys hands was a gun, pointed straight at the screen.

Saihara shuuichi was a poacher.

The thought made the boy, kokichi ouma, squirm, more than ever wanting to met him.

 

 

  
Kokichi was a quiet boy. In many ways, he was very like the faux detective he stared at for hours. Most people saw him as fragile, as weak. But in a way, kokichi knew that was his greatest strength.

Because kokichi ouma was a splendid liar.

It was easy; just a sob here, or a stutter there, and adults were falling apart at his feet. It was pathetic, really. It seemed no one could see through him. No one could take him down, only weakly hurled insults thatt bounced off his skin like rain on a umbrella. He wished it didn't, wish he could drown just like his beloved, feel something other than the urge to scoff. If someone could tear a actual cry from his lips, it'd be a miracle, crackling just like the fire on his skin. If he could actually feel the rope burn on his neck, he wonders id he could still spout those lies?

He wanted to laugh. He wanted to grin.

Because thats what you do when something is funny.

Because he was always the punchline of his own jokes, laughing at life like one would spit up blood, would spit on a dying man, would spit on the pathetic people on the pathetic streets that begged and begged and begged for money. Kokichi had fun with that, once, fake tears pooling out as he sobbed he didnt even had enough money for his own food, much less anyone else. He looked beat up enough for it, too; the kids at school always deciding they couldnt go a day without at least a shove at him. It was entertaining, really, just like it was entertaining to watch the beggars scramble to console him, all much nicer than the average person, scumbag and douchery worn like badges at they marred his skin with purple. Unfortunately for them, after every beating their wallets would suspiciously go missing, leaving them penniless and broke. Step right up, one beating costs you everything he can take.

Just like with the scum at his feet, trying to quil his cries, resorting to giving their own hard (ha!) earned money to him, to which he only would give a teary smile and a quiet thank you, just playing his role, when this whole time a hundred dollar bill rested in his pants pocket.

Pathetic.

All humans were like that. So foolishly tricked. Hes sure, hes sure, that the reason they were on the streets in the first place was because of some bullshit business man, promising the sun and the moon to them, if only they shook his hands. Or maybe it was to some asshole pot dealer looking to make a quick buck, explorting the weakness in the hearts of people and bleeding them dry.

Like he was doing.

It was really just the nature of life. It wasnt their fault, that they were prey in this life, that the smell of blood made the sharks move in. And it wasn't his fault, that he adapted, appearing cute and harmless with his wide, doe eyes, when in reality he was a silent predator.

But there was something that was in him, like a moth to a flame, that wanted that danger. The vulnerability within men that made them realize they were still human. Everybody had one, those businessmen pushing baby carriages and those drug dealing thugs coming home to care for their sickly mothers.

Kokichi didn't have that. Kokichi didn't have any _weakness_.

He didnt care about his parents, he never wanted kids, if anyone he knew in this monotoned world died, he wouldnt bat an eye, much less mourn. He lacks a reason, really, only doing what he knows.

There was nothing to prove he was human anymore.

Except for maybe him. With his crooked, timid smile lighting up his face like a broken bug zapper, the gaps in his bottom to top row of teeth wide enough to swallow him whole, to sink into him like he has many others. To give him what he deserves.

A worthy opponent.

And that thought alone made him smile sharp and wide, so unlike the shaking frown he gave in everyday life, to the point where if anyone who knew him saw him, it would be jaring. As if asking your mom what was in a cookie, only to have her answer with a cheery, exclamation of _hair!_

But kokichi didnt care, at the moment, only wondering vaguely if saihara could be his vice, one day.

If he knew anything, it was that he wanted to be _his_.

 

 

 

Kokichi debated clicking the send button.

It was a simple message, polite. Approaching him on just a post he made, on danganronpa, specific enough to hopefully not be written off as spam. But his hands were still clammy, for some reason, a mix of anxiety and giddiness filling his chest, making him feel as if he was a love sick school girl.

Making him _feel_.

Sweaty palms clutched his phone, something in his chest uplifting and squirming, as he rewrote his message. It was daring, but it felt right. Through his beloved's posts, he knew what would get his attention, more than anything.

_Do you want a volunteer?_

_What?_

The reply was quick, no doubt the strangeness of the question catching saiharas attention.

_You said you wanted someone to destroy, before._

He had shifted through his thousands of posts, praises to team danganronpa, and the desire to enter the show. Even detailing his desire to commit murder, a few posts going into detail about it.

When he doesnt reply, kokichi repeats.

_Do you want a volunteer?_

Even when his phone goes silent, after that, kokichi notes that his beloved didn't block him.

 

 

The ashed hair programer guided kokichi through programing, their sleepy, pink haired sister yawning tiredly in the background. Kokichi ignored it, focusing instead on the backdoors of coding.

“And how would I then access someones files?”

“W-what did you say this was for?” The programmer fidgeted. Kokichi offered a pleasant, slightly sheepish smile in return, holding in frustration boiling under the surface. “A school project,” he explained, “I’m doing mine on the darker side of the internet.” The programer mumbled something under their breathe, vaguely sounding like the hiss of a curse, kokichi only catching a _4chan_ —but somehow understanding perfectly what they had said, from just that. The programer then turned towards him again, contemplative.

“I didnt know there was such a project, here.”

“Cram school,” he explained, a fake wince twisting up his face for just a split second, the amber eyes examining him immediately turning sympathetic. If there was anything kids universally hated, it was school, after all.

“W-well.. if you need anything, you can always come to me…” they tampered off at the end, losing courage, and it make kokichi want to tsk.

He smiled softly, instead, nodding to them. “Thank you,” he paused, realizing he didn't remember their name, before filling the silence by tacking on a, “really, you dont know how much this means to me.”

The programer smiled, sister still absorbed in her video game, like she has been for half an hour, “i-its no problem. People like us.. we have to stick together.”

Kokichi fought against his lips, a snarl trying to curl onto his face.

“Of course.” he said, pleasantly, instead.

 

 

He hung up his photos on his walls.

It was photos saiharas himself took, never posting—anxiety whispering that they weren't good enough. Sleepy photos, blurry or otherwise deemed unfit. But all of them were perfect to kokichi, perfect enough for him to put his new found hacking skills to use, cultivated just for saihara.

Beautiful.

 

 

Eventually, kokichi started calling his sweet beloved, leaving voicemails like a lover would.

_Beep beep beep_

_“Hey, its your soulmate calling! Im sure my beloved had a good day at school, right? See you tomorrow my sweet shuuichi!”_

It made his heart flutter, when saihara would mention him in his posts, sighting an unknown caller had been leaving voicemails everyday, even knowing his name.

_Whoa, dude! Thats so creepy! Have you looked into a restraining order?_

It was ridiculous how many people said that. Kokichi wasnt doing anything wrong, already having resigned himself to back off the moment his beloved asked. So, really, why did these people think they could stick their nose in his and his beloveds business? They knew nothing about them.

_No, no… i find it interesting that someone has such an interest in me. Id like to know more about them._

His beloved was so kind, though, never listening to the commenters that would try and tear them apart. Even though he never answered the phone, it was things like this that assured kokichi he had a chance.

He really was acting like a fool, he knew. But it made him giddy, to have such an intoxicating thing, just in his reach. To have a weakness. To be a human.

To have the chance to break.

 

 

One day, saihara answered the phone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
“You _used_ me,” kokichis voice comes out in a breathe, “you used _me_.”

Saihara smiled a poachers grin, yellow-grey eyes sparkling, “did you really think i cared about you?”

Kokichi could only blink.

“Ah.. you did, didnt you? I was only using you once i learned your parents were directors here, at danganronpa. Frankly, its pitiful you thought otherwise.”

Saihara took the boys slackened face in his hands, smiling sweetly, “because you, kokichi ouma, will always be alone.”

And then he started walking away, calling over his shoulder, “You know, you wanted this.”

With that he left kokichi with wide eyes still on the ground.

_Ah._

_So this is how it feels._

 

Kokichi cries for the first time in years.

He signs up for danganronpa the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely hate the innocent view the fandom has on prekichi. Have i said that before? Its stupid. Theyre just eiter make him into a uwu cinnamon roll when he literally signed up for dr, just like anyone else, or they make him into a uwu cinnamon roll but in the way its clear its just for them to, excuse my bluntness, jack off to. And maybe im just sensitive to these things but sexuallizing a character that you potray as always getting hurt and crying and just being unhappy in geeral is... hm. That rubs me wrong. So instead i always try to go for a more morally grey kokichi. One of the hcs i had for a while was that he was basically the opposite of in game kokichi; where as in game him tries to potray himself as sinister but actually has good intentions, his pre self would be the reverse. So he would be crying and fragile and innocent on the outside but have bad intentions and stuff. So basically a scammer, i guess—though maybe more extreme? I went with something similar here. 
> 
> Anyways, i feel like ive rambled enough about this. I just think about this game too much and have a lot of theories/head canons, like how they even pick candidates and what they go through- which i actually want to write something more indepth soon about that, so i wont go into detail about that. Anyways, i hope you enjoyed! Im always desperate for comments and even if i dont reply (bc anxiety) i see all of them & rlly appreciate them...


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